Life Through Another Lens features stories from New York Junior League volunteers, shared in their own words, that explore how we experience the world – and our community – through perspectives shaped by our individual identities. In this edition, seven-year NYJL member Desirae Tongco reflects on how her involvement became a welcoming source of creativity, connection, and belonging after moving across the country. What began with attending a single event grew into meaningful friendships and a strong sense of community, shaping her experience in New York and throughout her time with the NYJL.

What prompted you to become a member of the New York Junior League and how long have you been a member?

Upon moving to New York City, I quickly discovered an advertisement for the House Tours. As a newcomer with no local connections and family far away, I was eager to explore beautifully designed homes and find inspiration for decorating my new apartment. It was during the House Tour that I met many kind NYJL members who became cherished friends and provided invaluable support as I navigated both the city and the initial stages of my legal career.

I am immensely grateful for my decision to join the NYJL and have enjoyed seven wonderful years as a member.  

How do you identify yourself?

A SF-raised, DC-educated, and NYC-living legal superstar, trial attorney extraordinaire, and rich auntie! On a more serious note, I am a former boxer, a current problem-solver, and a mathematician by avocation – all accomplished in heels (except when I, of course, was in the ring).

What is one of your favorite memories or anecdotes from your time at the NYJL? 

One of my favorite moments was attracting the attention of another League to our House Tour through my social media efforts. In the lead-up to my first House Tour with the Home Design committee, I aimed to boost fundraising by enhancing the creativity of my posts. This shift led to a change in the nature of my social media stories and increased my confidence in making solicitations. During the House Tour itself, I highlighted the showcased homes, champagne stops, and the New York Junior League boutique, generating excitement for the event and acknowledging our sponsors.

My posts successfully caught the eye of a Junior League of Orange County, CA member, who reached out to learn more about the House Tour. After a detailed conversation, she suggested that Orange County adopt a similar fundraising model. I felt immense pride that my social media content inspired another League, and I was thrilled to discover that a League across the country was motivated by our House Tour.

Desirae (Center in green) with fellow House Design committee members

How would you describe the culture of the NYJL?

The NYJL fosters a collaborative, positive, supportive, and empowering culture. Members can customize their experience to align with their leadership aspirations and personal lives. Whether you seek a leadership role or need to temporarily step back, both options are fully supported. I am especially grateful for this opportunity, as it has not only challenged me to step outside my comfort zone in leadership but also taught me to manage my workload effectively during busy work periods.

What would you recommend one read/watch that reflects your experience?

The Girls Trip movie with Queen Latifah, Regina Hall, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Tiffany Haddish.  Similar to my experience at the NYJL, this movie teaches that life could be life-ing (good or bad), but your tribe of girlfriends will always be there.